x

I have been cursed to hate,
and not even love can cure me.

i am diseased.
i spread aversion.

no one can fix me.
not even myself.

x

I can't paint your sky blue.
I can't paint your sky dark.
I can't.

I am faded,
even the sky is avoiding me.

x

I might be the broken part of a doll;

the one that been throw away.
the one that children fear.
the one that parents burn.
the one that people mock.
the one that isn't belong anywhere.

I am,
yes I am ;
the broken doll.

x

I am the girl who's
in the star with the light off.

I live in the darkness where
the light of me is fading and
in anytime it might be gone.

you're in the wrong place
boy, you have to leave.

here;
there's no light that will guide you out,
there's no voice to save you from destruction,
there's no love exist, no faith seen, no hope given.

even worst you might be lost
in finding me here, just as lost





















as i am.

He won't make love to me now
not now, I've set the fee
He said it's too much pounds
I guess I'm stuck with me

He told me I was so small

I told him "Water me"

I promise I can grow tall

When making love is free

He wont make love to me now

Not now , I've set the fee

He said it's too much pounds

I guess I'm stuck with me

He told me I was so small

I told him "water me"

x

its okay if you're leaving too.
leave just leave.

don't you worry about me,
I have tasted what death taste like.

I, myself have been a murder,
torturing this naive soul,
until it doesn't bleed anymore,
until it doesn't feel anymore;
so don't you worry dear,
I have tasted what death taste like.

the lost bridges of us.

we build our bridges;

from hope from trust

from longing from falling

from story from distance

from bitter from darkness

from crying lullabies of our soul

from broken into pieces ; us.

yet we never notice it;

our bridges, our rotten

bridges, the one that almost

be burned, the bridges that

drown deep beneath

out reality and existence.


221013
0436pm

Cheerful Depression - Sleep Forever (DSBM)

"If at any time later I'll be fast asleep in bed forever on the played ground, wrapped flowers, covered with boards and covered with a piece of wood that is written my name.

Does anyone still care about me and whether there is or might remember I remember nothing else even care about me. If true as it would only eternal loneliness and solitude that will accompany me. Before it actually happens, allow me to apologize for the mistake. "

Bright Eyes - At the Bottom of Everything

x

every time i pushed someone away,





























they disappear.
then i'll be in regret,
and longing to want them back.

in memory of: bibi,biri-biri,andeveryoneelse.

sinister night. (V)

this is us,

getting fragile,
for the past
that haunt us.

until we lost
all of our strength to
stand alone in this war

as our hope
and faith faded,
we collapsed ;

to pieces and
turn to ashes ,
of a broken youth.

sinister night. (|V)

we are being hung,

and stuck between

longing and hating .

as we know,

thing won't ever be the same, again.

sinister night. (|||)

turn out that all this while,
everything is a lie. secretly.

a lie that each of us create
to hide the secret we keep
all this while ; away from
each other , just because
we don't want to destroy this
precious friendship of us ;

but the thing is;
we just making thing worst.

sinister night. (||)

so,
all this while that i believe
on how beautiful thing we
have shared for the time
we wasted on believing
we complete each of us;

the thing when we get old
and remember today
on how we cherish all the
pain and nasty thing that
haunt us everyday by
being dumb or maybe just
happy and stick together;

as it us against the world.

sinister night. (|)

it was raining heavily,
it was so dark and cold,
it was the evil night ever.

x

tanpa adanya kemarin,
tanpa adanya tulat,
tanpa adanya hari ini.

wujud kita,
kelibatnya
masih sendiri.

rengekan tahi.

i got coins,
i got dope,
i got time,
i got stories,

but all i lost is
a lot of friends.

those friends;
to share these coins,
to get high all night,
to waste this wasted time,
to make history with this story.

pretty sad,
i got none
to share with.

(x)

he asked me to serve him a coffee,

a black dark bitter coffee,

without any sugar nor milk.

as he take a sip,

he cought.

"why? is it too bitter?" - i asked.

he smiled and look at me;

"no, this is perfect. 

it tasted like you , just like you"

-

x

someone give this,
someone that know
i am lost,
and still.

JBWRF13

aku pandang kanan
kau pandang kiri ;
serentak kita berlaga mata.

tapi kali ini
aku toleh dulu
aku jalan pergi.

sudahlah,
aku segan
kau bikin
aku jatuh
lagi.

ashes.

0000am

011213

so i keep it safe,

in a box, locked,

away from people.

the ashes i collect

from time, from 

falling, from languish.

until it full, until that

time come;

i will throw it all

in the ocean, to be 

eaten by the sea.

those ashes ; of those

feeling and memory and

people and bridges that

i burn, that turn into 

ashes of hate.

will drown deep beneath

the sea, and be forgotten.

everyone leaving me ; rotten.

0113am

221113

with every moment 

playing on the sky ; 

on the beach ; on the

rain ; on the road ;

on home ; on music ;

on the light ; on the 

humming ; on the picture ;

on the date ; on the words ;

on me .

for that damage done ;

for letting me be a total 

freaking mental breakdown 

person, i shall thanks to all.

because at least i know ,

i , myself ain't going to leave me.

*dad. mom. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. friend. love.

Angus & Julia Stone - Devil's Tears

He said "I am the devil, boy, come with me
And we'll make many storms"
He offered me the universe
But inside my heart there's a picture of a girl

Some call love a curse, some call love a thief
But she's my home 
And she's as much apart for this broken heart, but see 
Broken bones always seem to mend

I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you
I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you

He said "I am the devil, boy, 
Come with me and we'll break many laws"
He offered me eternal life but inside my heart there's a picture of a girl

Some call love a curse, some call love a thief
But she's my home and she
And she's as much apart for this broken heart, but see
Broken bones always seem to mend

I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you
I'll taste the devil's tears
Drink from his soul, but I'll never give up you