x

If  i'm one of the star;

I'll be the one that
be out of the circle,


I'll be the one that
every star avoid.

I'll be the one the
darkness of the sky hide.

I'll be the one that
be fading each time you cry.

I'll be the one that
can't guide you with my light.

x

Baby you're the moon
and the sky is your stage.

Your moonlight is the rhythm
that every star longing for.

And i'm that one star, that is
far away from any of you.

I can't reach you, when
everyone else is looming you
away from me.










Maybe,
I just meant to be the one who
can only watch you from a far.

x

the star pretending

to be birds at night.

just so, someone

can noticed it.

the doors - love me two times

x

The siren of your love is just another disappointment
that i can taste.
It's wrong to be in love with someone that belong to
another person.


Therefore, I choose to be in love with the death.

confession of regret.

Memory haunt us and what worst  it challenged us to choose either to stay with the past or move on. For me it's hard to leave the past, that is where I got everything I dream about ; love, friendship, loyalty, smile, trust, respect, experience, and someone that you know is there for you,


and yes i'm yet still stuck in there.

But to think it twice, it's better to leave it untouched. there is a reasons for thing that happened and it really do. I have become wiser, I learn to appreciate people that come , I embrace the awful sadness in a good way, I practice not to blame other for this mistake I did, and yes I do become a lot more matured.

And baby, i'm sorry I leave. I'm a coward for not defending us. I'm selfish for not being with you. And i regret for all of this thing that happen because of my leave. But hey look at the bright way, we both have become the person that we once don't  expect us to be, we have become matured.

I should leave the side that haunted me, this memory .And i believe that is the best for both of us to do (even when i'm writing this I still doubt myself to leave that wonderful moment all of us shared) . So until we met again, if we meant to be it will be, there's a lots more beautiful story that I believed we can create together.

So i think i shall past this one to.
Farewell  love.

x

I'm too fussy with people who's in love with me.

Their love is too weak. They can't even make 

me lose the love of me for myself, they are too 

weak.I don't trust them to handle this already broken 

love and wrecked heart of mine.

Or just maybe i was meant to be with myself.

x

I do longing for the warmth inside your skin,

the way it touch me, I burned to gaiety I never felt before.

I do longing for the kiss from your lips,

the way the kisses burst into my lung 

and I trapped in the delusion state.

I do longing for the intoxicating of your voices,

the way it rushed straight to my heart as it 

explode me into atom that hovering in the spaces.

I do longing for your presence beside me,

the way you make me feel like i'm dancing in the 

cloud with the sun shining as it was thankful for the

love I spread and flower bloom as it cherish the
happiness of having you by my side.

But,

here is cold,

here is bleak,

here is dark,

here is where; i choose to be. 

without you no longer appear.

x

O Darling,
you were telling me that I am the light,
the light that can guide you way out of this darkness.

but,
you mistake this flame with a light,
you mistake giving the love that i burn touching it,
you mistake everything the second you entered into
this gate that were whole with the darkness full of mine .

x

Believe me,
i'm supposed to be happy
the time you told me that you love me.

Believe me,
I do wait for this expression
for a way too long time .

Believe me,
I once convince myself that the
love you bring can change everything.

And believe me,
I am wrong for all this time.

I just don't feel a thing anymore.
Your love don't affect me no more.

God hate us.

This past day I do feel the sorrow of God,

Of how we destroy our own human kind,
Of how we grew hatred more than love do,
Of how we perfidy this world with being ungratefully,
Of how we tortured others living by forgetting ;
this is their home to.

God hate us,
for being too selfish
for being too greedy
for being too swank.

He do, He hate us.

x

As much as I wanted to,
there's nothing reality can change;
to be fixed from this misery of mine,
to learn what love really are,
to embrace the elation,
to escape the pleasure of pain.

As much as I desired to,
my soul already tied to the darkness;



there is nothing I can change.

x

The day you come is the day i'm whole,
but
The day you left me is the day i'm nothing.

not even half,
darling.

20's.

I'm the girl who live a bored life everyday. 

Wake up at 7am, go to work until 6pm/8pm. Enjoyed walking. Got cat to companion me to sleep. Wake up again at 7am, go to work until 6pm/8pm. Enjoyed walking. Got cat to companion me to sleep. Wake up at 7am, go to work until 6pm/8pm. Enjoyed walking. Got cat to companion me to sleep

And everything recur everyday.

I talk less, lesser everyday. Until I barely forget how to interact with others. 

This twenty years of life i have been living becoming sicker everyday. I lost lots of friends, my neighbour took my cat, economy bad, dad still missing, mom in lots of tense, sibling keep fighting and cursing each others, grandma matchmaking me with some 30+ old man, I can't afford school, my friend that has be friend with us for two years is lying to us about everything even her own real name, not enough of that she spreading rumors about my others friend that been hated for no reasons, and everything else that bothering me now.

And for somehow this whole thing remind me of myself from two past years ago.

I got love. I got friends. I got time. I got chance. And every thing was so alive that time until i messed it up for longing to be alone. I'm so fool to let everything slip away and, here i'm complaining about life in my twenty.

I do god,

i do regret for not being grateful.