x

We both are damaged , that we thought one of us is our saviour.

But that's what wrong , us being together is just like we surrender

our self to a total destruction of our self. We are so broken ,we
could swim in the sea of anguish. I can't stand it any longer.

So I leave.

And I regret on how stupid I am for not fighting for us , how
stupid I'm that I think Love just make me forget who i'm before ,
how stupid I'm that I think I'm better off being alone , how stupid
I'm that I thought this is the best decision i've made , how stupid
i'm for missing the time I suffered being left out , how stupid
i'm for longing  the past , how stupid I'm for being
coward to love and be loved by someone.

How stupid I am , I don't give any chance to anyone anymore.

x

It's hurt me so much seeing you with someone else , when I should be the one who sit beside you and accompany you the whole night. Feel like, it not gonna happen anymore because we both act like we're a total stranger now. I'm not sure if this is regret but baby , I know she's so much better than I'm , for you.

You see , she'll appreciate you more than I could,that she can handle all the chaos you caused. She'll be there 24/7 for you cause she understand you so much than I do. She'll take a good care of you when you're sick and promised you, she wont leave. And i'm pretty sure , she will be everything that i'm not.

Caused I've never be good for you , never be good for anyone else , not even good for myself. Do you remember that one night when you ask me to pretend to be your "real girlfriend" when i'm already your girlfriend. Huhh that's how much I'm suck being "someone couple" .

Correct me if i'm wrong ,but i'm sure that I always try to give you a hint on how much I don't want any of my friend fall for me especially you(i'm not saying that i'm attractive that my friends like me, I just have issue with this kind of situation. and yes, i'm the slacker girl ever and people be liking me is,weird), the kind of friend that have been trough a lot with me. I admit that i'm suck being someone girlfriend but I can be the-good-damn-best-friend if you let me to.

Anyway , I would be lying if I say it's easier for me to go trough the day without you, even I'm the one who ask for us to be off caused we spend almost everyday together and it's awkward you're not here. And I would be lying too if I say , I don't miss you , our friend and everything back then. 

But i'm just the one who rip everything off and I don't think I have any right to make everything back to normal. I'm just a messed baby, and you know that.

Or so I thought so ,

you know how I being "pandai-pandai".

*bad grammar, bad english , i know*

x

you are the best thing that happen to me ,

but i'm the worst thing that happen to you.

R.I.P ,our past existence.