home not so sweet home.

sometimes I would rather be at home watching all of them spending time together, laughing teasing and smiling out of joy ; even though I know that , they are just faking it. and my horrible side is just lying to myself, pretending that I've witnessing a moment of happiness that is happening in front of me , and make em feel alive.

but it never last because they will start picking a fight and the screaming will filled the house and they end up cursing one another , and there's a tense , a bad one , the one that I've been hoping it'll be gone a long time ago. And momma , doesn't she deserved a happiness O god?

And everyone else would probably be laughing at us , for how bad we have become as a family. Or some will just be pity for us , for how pathetic we have become.

and all I ever have witness for this twenty plus years of mine is, sadness , a complete confused type of sadness in everyone heart.

And I think I'm done.

It probably be better when I'm gone , they might probably realized that all their ego has blocked all the happiness that trying to crawled into this home. Or at least,my bad luck wont be near to them anymore.

but 

none of this is matter ,

none about me is ;

so just please be happy there.

while I take this cursed away from all of you,

while I take this su(m)ey away from all of you.