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I literally break down every night, but now it worst, it's every time and I can't control it. And last night I can sleep at last , I guess I'm just too exhausted. But before I went to sleep, I text him. I just need to know when did he start being with her , I don't need to ask why because it break my heart more. And he didn't reply , I guess he is happy now and he doesn't care about me any more. It's okay , no one care , I don't care too.

But I'm tired been waking up from sleep because of my dream. I dream that he give me the answer to my question, the kind I'm expecting. I didn't wake up once, it three time. three fucking time. And you have no idea how to sleep after that from all the fucking noises and faces.

The first one is he lied to me , he show me that girl picture but I saw that picture somewhere else. The second dream is he denied it , I'm not sure how to explain but he denied it, he denied it wasn't true. And the third is he text me back , when I realised that I off my phone, how come I can read it. Ha Ha Ha. And I stay wake up , I'm giving up sleeping.

And then I realised , am I too desperate? Am I too desperate I hope he actually care about me, he actually be with me now , he actually still love me. And there's too much I wanted to say but no, I won't say anything. I guess I am desperate , to have his one last chance for me.

ahh! fuck this shit.